Ok...so sue me.

Originally, I was going to finish the second part of the
last words post, but I need to delay that for a little bit. You see, there's
something that's recently come up in my life. I don't want to bore you with all
the details, but as with most guys my age, I'm going to guess you can figure it
out.

I've come to the conclusion that being in your mid twenties
is one of the best worst times of your life. You're in that exciting time when
everything about where you're at is new. You get a new job, new place to live
sometimes, new experiences after the roller coaster of college – new
responsibilities in many cases. Many twenty-something's are also in the midst
of one of the newest things of all – relationships. I can't tell you how many
weddings I've missed in the last 5 years. All of that romance missed and that
causes me to pause. I mean, why is it that I'm single? Why can't I strike it
lucky and find a wonderful, beautiful woman to settle down with? Love (that is,
Eros love or a form thereof) sucks both ways. Let me elaborate on that a bit
more.

About 2 years ago, I wrote a post about love. The gist of it
was sometimes love means you let go – either of the one you love or of yourself
and all you hold dear for the one you love. Why is it that letting go of
something you enjoy, or desire, is so hard? Why wouldn't it be hard? When you
desire or long for something a bond is forged, no matter how superficial it
might be, that connects that person or thing in a deep manner to your identity.
Right now to me, having let go of something that I held to for sometime (in
retrospect, there was never any reason to hold on to it, in fact I tried to let
it go for many of the past 10+ years) has caused some issues for me. In fact,
since I've let go of this one habit I have found myself slightly
confused/indecisive in several areas of my life.

So, with that happening inside my mind, I find myself
interested (that's what it started out as) in a young woman. What's more, I
find that she's very interested in me. Now this is a surprise to me. I really
have to wrap my head, and heart, around this idea. You see, I feel very much
like a Gomer (if you read my other blog that will give you an idea of where I
am in my walk with God). To me, someone expressing that much interest in me, is
extremely difficult to grasp and scares me. My mind is going, "is she really
interested in me, or is it just a drive on her part to not have anymore first
dates?" I can't quite get my mind, and heart, to fully believe she feels that
way. And because this scares me, it creates uncertainty in my mind – which then
makes things hard for her.

My brain, and heart, wants to try and scare/test her. And
that gives me a chance to sort through my own feelings. And so as I took a
period to do this, I think of all that she's said to me, and how I felt when I
was with her, and when I wasn't with her. Now, I am a guy and so when we were
apart, or not talking to each other during our day, I will admit not every
waking moment was spent thinking about her. To some that might seem callous –
but that's just the way I am. However the other day, as I was reflecting about
where I was at, I came upon Proverbs 31. That passage of scripture talks about
a Noble Wife. That got me thinking about what I was looking for in a spouse.

A noble wife is to be cherished and desired…and I think I
might have found a woman that would fit that bill. Now if I can just finish
sorting out my disbelief.

"Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief."

Blessings.

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On last words...

One of the questions I always find fascinating is that of, “What do you want your last words to be?” Along those lines, the thought of what you want to appear as your epitaph. In fact one of the frequent items at parties for fun is the “famous last words” – those phrases uttered at seemingly the most inopportune moment that gain lasting infamy. Some last words are more memorable than others, and others are said purely in jest, for instance “I’ll be right back.”

 

Then there are the last words that are more significant, the ones that are meant to last and possibly give directions or something of that nature. This kind of last words are often given on the deathbed, or before someone goes off to do something that will be of lasting impact that they might not return from. One of the “last words” that I remember is at the end of the movie Zorro, when the old Zorro is about to die, and he gives his daughter's hand to the new Zorro, giving them his blessing to be wed. Honestly, I really don’t know why  I put that in there – it’s just something that sticks out in my mind – but it’s really not where I wanted to go. However you get the point I hope. Last words are very important. They have lasting meaning and are meant to have great impact. One man throughout history had many words that, while not his last, had lasting impact.

 

“About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lama sabacthani.’ Which means, ‘My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?’

 

Those are the last words that Christ is recorded as saying in the gospels of Matthew and Mark. In Luke and John he says, “It is finished.” Looking at what could be the chronology of the events, the words in Luke and John probably came just after the words in Matthew and Mark. Christ knew the power of the spoken word, especially the Word of God. Christ quoted it often in his speaking and he knew exactly what He wanted to say. In Biblical times, what was said as a man was dying was of great importance. It was at this time that a father would give the blessing to his firstborn, as was the case with Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph. David and Solomon did the same thing. If the words of these men had such far reaching importance, how much more are the final words of the Son of God, giver of all life?

 

“Eloi, Eloi, lama sabacthani.” My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? So often we might ask a question along those lines. “Why God?” Where are you, God?” During those hard times in our lives, when things we don’t fully understand are happening even those who might dispute the existence of God, we find ourselves crying out to the Creator of all things. I know of an old saying, “There are no foxhole atheists.” Now if we as mere humans, unknowing of what is to come do such a thing, what does it mean if the one through which all things were created, knowing exactly what was going on, cries out in this fashion? How much deeper is his query to His father, God of the Angel Armies?

 

Jesus was Jewish, and grew up in all the traditions of Mosaic law. He knew all that was required of him to be called a man, which means Jesus had most, if not all, of the Torah and Tenach (the Hebrew Bible) memorized. When he spoke those words, they were a cry of anguish, and as prayer, He must have known that he was speaking from the first line the 22^nd Psalm. Any of those who were also Jewish, and in earshot of him would have known this as well. But what did they assume he was doing? “He’s calling to Elijah.” What does this mean? As I’ve said before, Christ knew the importance of words – and He knew exactly what was happening to Him.

 

The whole of Psalm 22, I believe is a description of what Christ went through – both physically in our world, and spiritually in the realm we cannot see. He knew exactly what was going to happen, in fact what was happening – in both planes at the same time. That is the incredible position that Christ was in as equally human and equally divine.

 

He can see the pain and sorrow in his family and disciples that were there – close and in the distance. The look on those faces possibly mirroring the emotions and expression of the angels in heaven and his father. The anguish the Father must have experienced as he withdrew his presence from his son. Breaking the connection they had shared from before the beginning of time – a connection so deep and strong it must have been the hardest thing the God of the angel armies had to do.

 

Looking to the other side, he sees the mocking of Pharisees and other religious “leaders” and even that of the thief to one side of him, also on a cross. Taking their barbs of insult and unbelief, their unwillingness to listen and move outside of their comfort zones. The inability to come out of themselves and relinquish control to someone better suited to it. All of that must have mimicked the looks of delight and evil joy in the seeming defeat of the hosts of heaven by the prince of darkness and all his minions. All those demons, given dominion of their own realms by the Devil – a former angel who had been thrown out of heaven because of his desire to be as God – now given the chance to gloat and humiliate the giver of Life. All the bulls and demi-gods who want the place of the King of Kings now have the chance to taunt and torment the very one who took part in their creation as angels.

 

In all of this, Christ is fully aware, and painfully acknowledges his acceptance of the sin he will carry for us, that the penalty would be paid. Only one who was human could pay the price of human sin – human death. And only one who was divine could take on the penalty for all present and future humans. All of this is who Christ was – it was not his sole purpose on Earth but his main purpose. To accomplish this He required all his senses, human and supernatural. Following to the end of Psalm 22, He knew that in enduring all of that He would not be left to rot in the grave, He would rise triumphantly and not only break the power of sin, but also that of death.

 

Read Psalm 22, and picture yourself there, on that hill known as the place of the skull, some 1,980 years ago. Look into the face of one of the men on the three crosses and see the mixed, deeply felt, emotions of love and anguish in the eyes that man. Read Psalm 22 and know that it could be an accurate description of all that He is seeing with his human and spiritual eyes, and know that He took all of that for you, because He wants to know you personally.

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Blessings.