20 March 2006

Not Needed, Wanted

And another month goes by without a post, but hey - I don't have to if I don't want to right?

Like I've said before, I really have to be struck by something for me to be really motivated to post something. Well, after thinking about three or four things, I've been motivated again. So now the thinking cap goes on and the fingers set to nimbly punching buttons on a keyboard, not really knowing what will end up appearing. Ha...Ha...ha...

Now I finally start to get to the topic that I made the title from in the first place. It's something that I have to get over myself - I am not Needed. Quite simply, in many ways I am just an ancillary collection of particles that wonders around this even bigger collection of particles doing whatever it is that those collection of particles that are clustered in an area we call the brain decide is worth doing (not counting breathing, or the beating of my heart, though sometimes I wonder why that happens too, but I digress). I wake up around 7:30, almost 8 o'clock in the morning, shower, shave and dress for work Monday through Saturday, usually rushing to make sure that I'm not late. In this process, I usually don't have much time to think about what it is I wear, except that it's clean, doesn't smell (those of you who don't know me, I'm almost the quintessential young, heterosexual bachelor) and comes close to matching. All this after going to bed around 12am, and sleeping in a mattress that could be a model for a calm, rolling ocean. Great way to start the day. I'm usually in such a rush that I forget some important things.

The first thing I forget to do is eat. Now, most health gurus will tell you that you need to east something in the morning for breakfast. It does a couple of slightly important things for the body. First, it breaks the fast that you've had for the almost 8 hours you've been asleep (if you're getting the recommended 8 hours), and so takes your body out of a conserving process (what exactly it's called I don't know, but if you don't eat a lot, your body takes what you do eat and turns it into fat, and that's bad). Second, it gets your metabolism going and helps your body to start powering up and getting ready for the day. So really, it's a necessary thing. I mean, it gets you going so that you can be healthy, productive and in a good mood (barring stupid drivers early in the morning). I figure that, this breakfast thing being necessary, it might be advisable to partake in it. For some reason though, I don't seem to eat it.

The second thing I forget to do is read my instruction manual for life. I happen to forget to spend time with my father, and I'm not talking about my Dad who lives in New York. I'm talking about my father in heaven, the one who made me. And really, that's more important than breakfast. I mean, breakfast gets your body going, but you really need to get the rest of you going too. There's more to a person than just the body. I mean when you talk to people you know that more to them exists than just what you see. That's the part that you really need to worry about I would think. I mean, it's your mind and soul that make up the full human, and really that part, the spirit (some call it the soul, I use the two interchangablely) that determines what our outlook on life is. That outlook is also determined by how we think other view us. We really do need to feed both the body and soul in the morning to be really awake in the morning, and keeps you going for the rest of the day.

C.S. Lewis talks a little about this in his book The Four Loves. He makes a distinction between "need" loves and "gift" loves. And one of the things that really got me as I was reading this book was when he talked about affection, and how it is one of those loves that is easy to have. It's also a love that we need to get in return, like friendship. We need to get it as much as we need to give it. However good affection is, it can still become a bad thing. When we begin to need it, like an addiction, so much that we'll do anything for it, than it becomes evil, like a demon. Well, I know how that feels because I like to be needed, and I seem to need a lot of contact with other people  - conversation and things like that. I don't think that I'm quite at the stage where it's an addiction, but sometimes I think I'm close to that. Anyway, to get to the real issue, God has found a way to help us with that issue, and that way does involve feeding our spirit on a daily basis.

You see, when I look at God's word I've found something that gets repeated throughout the Old and New Testament - we did not choose Him, He chose us. He chose Abraham, He chose the Israelites, He chose the disciples, and He chose us. I mean think about who God is. This is the God that created the universe. He made time, space and all the is within it. He doesn't really need anyone to do anything - He even doesn't need other beings because He is a complete relationship within Himself - Father, Son, and Spirit all co-equal and sharing in everything, perfect friendship. He doesn't need you or me to do anything at all. Billy Graham could preach until he was blue in the face, and God could speak simply and softly into the heart of one lost soul, and be more effective. I mean really, does the God who made all things and more importantly knows all things, really need a bunch of bumbling, hypocritical, judgmental, mean, arrogant, holier-than-thou people to try and gather to himself a family who will appreciate His love and his incomparable majesty and wonder? Probably not. Like I said, a simple, soft whisper from the Spirit is more effective than a thousand sermons from D.L. Moody, Billy Graham, and William Booth combined.

But He chose us. That means something incredible. He doesn't need us, He WANTS us. I mean, He, the creator of the universe, wants a piece of His creation to work with Him, and be with Him, to know His love, and love Him back. He wants us. How much more incredible is that? As much as feeling needed is good, how much better does it feel to be wanted. To be desired. To be yearned for. TO be such the object of affection that you know that person will give everything up to remove any obstacle that blocks you from them.

That's what's so awesome. I'm not needed. I'm wanted.

Blessings